I don’t know if I’m spelling that correctly or not, but Besherit is my new Hebrew/Yiddish (not sure which) word of the week. While talking to a womyn from Synagogue I encountered this lovely little expression in our discourse. She spoke of a certain situation “that was meant to be.” I told her that I couldn’t quite articulate a philosophy around the natural ebb and flow of the universe, but I believed it anyways.
In so many times of our lives we come to a place that often causes our never-ending-always-chattering mouths to be still. Someone says something that changes how we think about ourselves and the world (an AHA moment, as Oprah says) or we take a turn in our lives and find ourselves somewhere we NEVER imagined – and yet there we were; these situations often caused us to grow, find success, etc., and because we are rendered dumbfounded by creating some kind of equation that calculates how we got from there to here, all we can really say is “huh! I guess it was meant to be…” IN other words, Besherit.
Now as I venture deeper down the path of my own spiritual quest I feel a certain peace about the direction I have taken. When I left my former faith community to link to what really speaks my truth I faced a lot of criticism from them and this only created something very defensive in me. When I revisit some of my journals I can sense that tone in my own voice that I was unaware of. In fact, some people from that community really caused me to second guess myself and my decisions (which, on the one hand, is good because it causes some really good self-examination, but on the other hand caused a really defensive attitude to my own journey). I have, however, just come to a very comfortable place (internally) and that ‘defensiveness’ has subsided – my own mind is reassured by all that I have experienced and the voices of those former critics have turned from criticism to respect.
I think the only way I can really put it is that I have found what feels like home. You know when you move into a house and it’s just a house until one day, after ages of decorating and rearranging, do you finally feel your space is your home? That’s kind of how it is with Judaism, for me, I think.
When I take a step back, I feel that the God that I pray to is the same God I’ve always prayed to. One unimaginable, undefinable, yet intimate(?) reality, the Creator, Baruch He. Torah is replete with the stories of becomings and emancipations and prophetic poetry – all that were a very deep part of my childhood; these stories feed my own spiritual journey and provide archetypes that provide meta-lessons that are absolutely inspiring and thought provoking. I look forward to the Sabbath usually on Monday morning at 8:45 AM – the good food, the laughter, the friendship, the gin, and the time to shift our consciousness to making peace in the world (even the berichot [sp?] said are becoming a deep part of myself – it may sound strange, but when I pray the blessings (Baruch ata…etc.) I can hear the English in my head as I say the Hebrew…two channels playing at once…yet delightful…my favorite berichat is the shehekianu [I’m sorry, my transliteration is as though it just came through the butcher shop…] and this blessing is uttered in so many beautiful moments – on top of a hill looking at a river at sunset, when peace is made between friends and family, etc.. Anyways…I could go on…
The point that I’m trying to make is that it’s incredible to me to look back to 8 months ago and see a moment of inspiration turn into a life-enriching experience…and so, this Jewish Journey is my besherit…my moment of meaning in being…
I wonder what Abraham thought about looking back after leaving all his wild adventures…or Moses as he stood on the mountain in solitude….or Ezekial after his vision to rebuild the temple…what that must do to a person….surely all they could say after was “uh, it was meant to be…”